Yab-Yum: The Tantric Sex Position That Rocks

Quickies are fun, but sometimes you really want to enjoy the ride. Yab-Yum is the tantric lotus position that turns sex into slow, sacred lovemaking. Build an intimate connection with your partner with our guide to this sex technique that rocks.
 

We’re all used to tapping our phones for instant gratification — from binge-watching our fave series to ordering outfits, food, and instant DMs. And while we're all in favor of quickie sex when the mood takes us, sometimes that kind of lightning-fast gratification doesn't, well, gratify us. 

Enter Yab-Yum: the tantric “lotus sex” position that turns love-making into sacred, slow-motion connection. Ready to trade speed for intimacy, breath for presence, and swipe-to-buy for full-on human realness?
 

Chill Out, Buttercup: Why Slowing Down Feels So Good

Picture this: you’re waiting at home for your new jacket to arrive, refreshing the tracking app every five minutes. Or maybe you’re in bed after a long day — scrolling Insta, double-tapping, swiping, not even consciously breathing. Nowadays, we’re so used to instant everything: news, style inspo, food delivery — even “instant gratification.”
 

Now imagine if sex followed the same pattern: quick, electric, zipper-down, done. Sure… but where’s the magic in that? Instead of treating sex like a transaction, what if we could slow things down, breathe together, connect deeper? That’s where tantra — or “sacred sex” — comes in. Slow, ritualised, sensual. It’s like turning life down to half-speed and just savouring.

Which brings us to one of the most intimate slow sex moves out there: Yab-Yum.
 

What the heck is Yab-Yum?

Yab-Yum literally means “father-mother.”  In its spiritual origin — in Tibetan Buddhism and Indian tantra — it’s a symbol, not just a sex pose: a representation of divine union, of two complementary energies coming together.

Yab-Yum = yum yum

In classic tantric iconography, you often see a male deity seated cross-legged (often in meditation pose), with his female consort sitting on his lap facing him. The man (the “father”) represents active energy, compassion or method; the woman (the “mother”) represents wisdom, receptivity and insight.

Translated into human intimacy, Yab-Yum is a way to bring that spiritual union into physical form — to merge breath, body, energy and emotion in a moment of real connection. Some call it the “lotus sex position.”
 

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Why Couples Rave About Yab-Yum: The Perks

Yab-Yum is often searched for by couples exploring tantra, sacred sex, or slow-intimacy practices. It’s considered one of the most iconic tantric positions because of its emotional and energetic focus.
 

“Face-to-face, heart to heart: the slow sex of Yab-Yum invites vulnerability and intimacy. It’s not about speed; it’s about being present together.”

Beyond the physical or energetic — many couples describe Yab-Yum as transforming sex from a “to-do” into a ritual: less performance, more presence; less pressure, more connection. Here’s what many people say Yab-Yum delivers (and we get it — it kind of rocks):
 

• Deeper Connection Face-to-face, heart to heart, breath in sync — the slow sex practice of the Yab-Yum position invites vulnerability and intimacy. It’s not about speed; it’s about being present together.
   
• Spiritual/Energetic Union In tantric tradition, Yab-Yum is more than skin-deep — it’s about aligning energies, blending compassion and wisdom, body and spirit.
   
• Comfort and Support The upright seated posture can be more relaxing and grounded than many “athletic” sex positions. You’re held, you’re stable — there’s time to breathe and feel.
   
• Empowerment and Control Dynamics The “base” partner provides stability and support; the “top” partner can control movement and pace — but all in a consensual, safe, connected way.
   
• Potential for Deeper Female-Bodied Stimulation For many, having the top partner chest-to-chest and close helps create deep internal or G-spot stimulation — combined with closeness and intimacy.
   

How to Practise Yab-Yum: Step-by-Step 

Here’s how you and your partner can ease into the sacred sexuality tradition of Yab-Yum.
 

1. Create a Vibe

Choose a comfy spot — your bed, a floor with pillows, or a cozy chair. Dim the lights or light candles, play soft instrumental or ambient music (lyric-free music is often best — it helps you stay “in the moment”).
 

2. Get Into Position

Have one partner sit cross-legged (like in meditation). Then the other partner sits in their lap, facing them — legs wrapped around their waist, chest-to-chest.
 

3. Sync Your Breathing

Close your eyes or gaze softly into each other’s eyes, and start to breathe together: inhale together, exhale together. Let breath be the rhythm. 

Yab-Yum is a Buddhist symbol of divine union

 

4. Tune Into Body and Energy

Wrap arms around each other, hold gentle contact, maybe place a hand on your partner’s heart-chakra area if you like. Let the energy flow. 
 

5. Decide What Feels Right

You can stay still, rocking slowly, or gently move; you can choose to engage in penetration or just stay cuddled, breathing, connected. The key isn’t performance — it’s presence, connection, energy.
 

Can same-sex couples do Yab-Yum too?

Yes, absolutely. While the origins of Yab-Yum imagery come from gender-based symbols (male deity and female consort), most modern tantra guides emphasise that gender doesn’t matter. What matters is energy, intention, and connection.

 

“Yab-Yum is often searched for by couples exploring tantra, sacred sex, or slow-intimacy practices. It’s considered one of the most iconic tantric positions because of its emotional and energetic focus.”

Couples of any gender (or gender identity) can practise Yab-Yum — just alternate who sits on top, go with what feels grounded, centred, and consensual. The spiritual meaning — union of energies, merging presence and breath, attuning hearts — applies across identities. In short: connection, not gender, is what counts.

The bottom partner sits crossed-legged in the Yab-Yum tantric position
 

Yab-Yum At a Glance

Type: Tantric seated position

AKA: Lotus position / sacred sex posture

Tradition: Tibetan Buddhism + Indian Tantra

Purpose: Energetic union, intimacy, breath synchronisation

Difficulty: Easy to moderate
 

FAQ: Yab-Yum

Is Yab-Yum hard to do?

No — it’s mostly about comfort and closeness rather than flexibility.

 

Who sits on top in Yab-Yum?

Traditionally the female partner, but in modern tantra it’s whoever feels more expressive or energised.

 

Is Yab-Yum Safe For Beginners?

Yes — totally. Yab-Yum is basically the “training wheels” of tantra. It’s slow, cozy, and built for connection, not acrobatics. As long as both of you are comfortable, supported, and communicating, it’s beginner-friendly AF. Think of it as intimacy’s soft launch.
 

Does Yab-Yum Always Involve Sex?

Nope — not at all. Yab-Yum can be:

• a sex position,
• a cuddling position,
• a meditation posture,
• or a way to sync your breathing like two gorgeous little intimacy metronomes.

It can be sexual, but it doesn’t have to be. The energy is the point, not the X-rating.
 

Can this position be used for meditation only?

Absolutely. Many people practice Yab-Yum with clothes on, candles lit, and zero sexual intention. It’s a gorgeous way to ground, breathe together, and feel emotionally plugged in. Think: less “hot and heavy,” more “cosmic cuddle with benefits (emotional ones).”

 

Do same-sex couples change the meaning of the posture?

Not even a little. In modern tantra, Yab-Yum isn’t about gender — it’s about polarity, presence, and connection. Any couple can choose who sits where based on comfort, energy, or who just feels like climbing into a lap that day. The vibe stays the same: closeness, breath, and that delicious “we’re-melting-into-one-being” feeling.
 

Takeaway: The Slow Sex of Yab-Yum

In our fast-forward world of instant everything, Yab-Yum is a rebel: it asks you to slow down, lean in, breathe, feel. It doesn’t care about quick hits or flashy orgasms — it wants deep breaths, eye contact, soft touch, slow movement. It’s about intimacy, trust, presence.

Maybe tonight you and your partner are tired from work. Maybe you haven’t talked properly for days. Maybe you just want something different. Try Yab-Yum: sit down, wrap around, breathe together. Let the world pause for a moment. See what happens when time slows, and connection speaks louder than speed.

Have you tried the Yab-Yum position before? If so, share your experiences and tips with your fellow Popsters below...