First impressions are everything so make sure you get your online dating message right. Discover's top ten tips on writing the best first messages - and get the responses you want.


1. Take a look at your profile 

Imagine you send a great message to someone, what do you think they'll do before replying? They'll go check out your profile. Make sure you've got a great profile page to back up your message, and so they can see who you are. Photos, sexual preferences, a good profile description - the more information, the better! Insider tip: get the profile verification. This way they'll know you're real and genuine.


2. Find a common interest

Before you write a message to a new buddy, make sure to check out their profile first. Find what you have in common, and use that as an icebreaker. People will appreciate that you took the time to read their profile, and it shows that you're writing to them specifically, and not copy-pasting the same message to a bunch of people.  


3. Ask questions

Asking a question in your message increases your chances of getting a reply. People like to feel that someone's interested in what they think, and it provides a natural reason to respond. Look at their profile, their pictures, and their sexual preferences to get inspiration for good questions. Don't give your answer to the questions, leave it to them to ask you in their reply. 

4. Be careful with the compliments 

Especially when writing to women, don't just write that they're hot/sexy/beautiful, etc. Women tend to get a lot of messages like that, and it doesn't feel very genuine or original. Try complimenting personality or interests, and if you do compliment someone on their appearance - be specific and original rather than just saying "you're hot". 

Fresh Prince of Bel Air pickup line.

5. Keep it simple 

You want to write something short and sweet that shows who you are and that you're interested in the other person. Don't make it into a game of '20 Questions', and keep a positive tone. Try to be original, if you've got a sense of humour, use it! Making someone laugh is always a positive thing. Be careful of sarcasm though, as it could easily be misunderstood in writing.


6. Spelling matters

Make sure to proofread your message before you hit send. Nothing is more irritating than reading something with lots of spelling mistakes or shit grammar. Spell checking your message shows you’re thoughtful and take the time to make sure what you say is understood.  


7. Be honest

When you find someone who strikes your fancy, don’t be shy. If you have all these things in common, chances are you’ll get along outside of the digital world as well. Be honest about what you’re looking for and if you're nervous, say so! Honesty goes a long way, and most people can relate to feeling awkward making the first move. 


8. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Not everyone likes the same thing as you do, which is great, otherwise fucking would be pretty boring. Show respect if you discover someone is into something you’re not, there’s nothing wrong with that. It might be the perfect opportunity to try something new. If it turns out you're not interested in the same things - move on and leave it at that.

Ja'mie King 'get over it' quote.

9. Lower your expectations 

No matter how well written, not every message will land you a date, or even a response. So be patient. There are tonnes of buddies out there waiting to hear from you, and practice makes perfect! Don’t get discouraged when you don’t hear back from someone. Think of it like you're looking for a job or a flat - the first one usually isn’t the right one. 


10. Don't be a stalker

If your first message receives no response, leave it at that. Just because the digital world offers a million ways to pester someone, doesn’t mean you should do it. They might just not be interested. It happens in real life too, but you don’t follow them home and shove tonnes of letters in their mailbox, do you? Take a deep breath, and move on. 

Best of luck buddies. Have respect for each other and more importantly, fuck happy!



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