Dear Molly
So I met a new guy just when I thought there was not a single decent bloke left available. Along he comes in the form of a pirate. We were at a fancy dress party, and he liked my wenches outfit. We hit off straight away both in and out of the bedroom. Much to my joy, he is adventurous and exciting when it comes to sex. We have already bought some new sex toys and explored tying each other up. However, he has now introduced the idea of me pegging him. I am not anti it, but it is just so far outside any experience I have had that I feel unsure and nervous. I have no idea even how to go about it, and am worried I might hurt him. Any advice or tips you have for me would be really welcome. I am definitely open to the idea just feel super out of my depth when it comes to pegging and strapons.
A Pegging Novice
Dear A Pegging Novice
This relationship sounds lovely and exciting and well done you for being open to exploring with your partner. He must definitely feel like he can trust you to have shared his pegging desires with you. My first piece of advice is to absolutely make sure that you talk to him about how you feel about this. You want to make sure that he is not worrying that maybe he said the wrong thing. Tell him that you feel nervous and unsure about pegging him and why. Be clear that it is not because you don't want to do it but because you don't know how to go about it. Hopefully, if he has some experience of pegging and anal sex he can guide you and help you to feel more confident. If not, then pegging is something that you can explore and discover together. This way he will know and understand where your thoughts are on the subject of pegging.
You don't mention if you enjoy anal sex or anal stimulation. If you do, then hopefully you will know some of the basics; like use plenty of lube, and take it slowly. Don't start off by trying to have anal sex with a penis or something the side of a penis. Start with a finger and then an anal toy. Work your way up to something larger as you become more accustomed to the sensation of anal stimulation. The exact same course of action is correct when it comes to pegging. This is another reason why you and your partner need to talk more about this. So that you can know how experienced he is when it comes to anal sex and anal stimulation.
My suggestion is that together you look to buy some anal toys to help you get started. For example a couple of different sized butt plugs but nothing too large. There are also many pegging dildos on the market that are designed to be slimmer than other dildos. They also come with a flared base making them safe for anal use and also means they will fit into a strap-on harness. The flared base is essential when it comes to anal play. You should never insert anything into your butt that does not have a flared base. This is because there is a risk that your body could pull it up inside you. A flared base stops that from happening.
If you decide to continue on with this, you are also going to want to buy a strapon harness. There are quite literally tons of different strapon harnesses on the market. From those that you wear like panties to others that attach to you using a series of straps. It really depends on you and the style you like and what strapon feels comfortable for you. My advice is to take some time to read some reviews of different straopn harnesses. Also be prepared to buy more than one type of strapon as you try to find the style and shape that best suits you.
Don't forget the lube too. A good quality lubricant is an absolute must when it comes to any anal penetration, pegging included. You can use silicone or water-based lube, but if you use a silicone strapon dildo, you will be better off with water-based. Although you will need more of it and have to reapply it more often as it dries out quicker than a silicone lube.
Finally, don't forget to talk to one another. Check in with each other as you go along. Both while buying the strapon and also once you get started with the pegging. Communication, like with all things sex-related, is the key to a sexy happy time being had by all. Learning about each other's bodies together is sexy. How they work, what feels right, what turns you on and so on. Making sure both you and your partner are loving it is the key to you both having a wonderful pegging experience.
Molly x
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