Sex Advice | Is Masturbating With Vegetables Safe?

Does the thought of playing with a zucchini or cucumber in your pussy leave you feeling fruity? Sex columnist Molly Moore gives her do's and don'ts when it comes to food dildos – so you can try masturbating with vegetables both sexily and safely. 

Dear Molly
I recently watched a porn film with a girl masturbating with different vegetables, including carrots and zucchinis, and it made me super horny. It got me curious about using fruit and veg during masturbation myself. The idea of using a cucumber as a food dildo really turns me on, but is it safe to put fruit or vegetables in my pussy? I'm worried I may damage myself or get something lost inside me. 

I also keep thinking the cashier is going to know why I'm buying stacks of cucumbers. How I can get over my embarrassment when it comes to buying vegetables to use as sex toys? Thanks.
A. Curiosity


Dear A. Curiosity,
People have been using all sorts of phallic-shaped objects for masturbation since the beginning of human history. We even know that carving penis shaped objects was something man did as soon as he had the tools and knowledge to do so.

So, I'm more than confident to state that over the many years since, millions of people have used various fruits and vegetables for masturbation – myself included. Yep, I've totally done this! Chilled carrots were my favourite insertable until I bought my first glass dildo. I also had a partner use a cucumber on me once, and we even tried an eggplant, but it was way too big! 🍆👀

So, rest assured you're deffo not alone in getting turned on by the idea of using food dildos. Obviously, I can't point to any hard data or stats – it's not exactly a question you'll find in the Census – but a quick nosedive into veggie sex threads on Reddit and Quora show loads of peeps are asking the same questions as yourself.

“While some doctors agree it’s fine to masturbate with vegetables and fruits, there are definitely some safety guidelines to bear in mind before you put any veggie near your pussy.”

For sure, one of your besties or fellow Popsters will have gotten off using a carrot, cucumber, or banana at some time in the past. But yes, there are definitely some rules to follow when it comes to safety. 
 

Masturbation with vegetables: do's and dont's

While some doctors agree it’s fine to masturbate with vegetables and fruits, there are definitely some safety guidelines to bear in mind before you put any veggie near your pussy. There are big differences between your mouth – where you'd normally put these objects – and your genitals, in terms of PH levels, skin and tissue sensitivity/delicacy, and nooks and crannies that aren't easily accessed. 

Courgette regret? Don't get too greedy with your zucchini

With that in mind, here are some do's and don'ts when it comes to using fruit and vegetable as dildos. 

DO:

1. Fully wash any produce before playing with it. Fruits and veg can be covered in bacteria, microbes and pesticides. While your tummy can (usually) handle these upon digestion, your vagina or anus definitely cannot. In fact, using unwashed food dildos like that can even lead to infections.
    
2. Use a condom, especially if you’re inserting a long vegetable such as a cucumber. Not only does this give added protection from those afore-mentioned bacterial nasties, it helps prevent pieces of organic material breaking off inside you, where they could easily become difficult to get out. You want to be spending your post-masturbation sesh in a state of bliss, not panicking because half a cucumber has snapped off inside you!
   
   
    
3. Be careful if you're using irregular-shaped fruits/vegetables for masturbation, even when using a condom. Your food dildo friends are not perfectly smooth the way sex toys are. Make sure you use lots of lube, too. 
    
4. Use soft and squishy fruits such as bananas for external stimulation only. Always shower afterward playing with vegetables to clean off any residue. 

DON'T:

1. Use vegetable sex toys more than once. Yep, we know there's a cost of living crisis, but skimping when it comes to playing with vegetables in your pussy is a big no-no. Throw anything you use right away (extra points if you put it in the organic recycling). Certainly don’t put any veg or fruit items back into your kitchen: one of your roomies may use it for their dinner! 
    
2. Use citrus or acidic fruits: they may sting or cause skin irritation. Same goes for chillies or capsicums. 🔥🌶️ Saying that, in the world of BDSM, some kinksters like to literally spice up their sex lives through figging – the kink of inserting fresh ginger into your vagina or anus! I'd definitely suggest leaving that to the experts, though.
    
3. Use fruits and vegetables that are small or stubby. The vagina has a powerful suction capabilities: you wouldn't want a strawberry or mini cucumber getting lost inside you. 

Best vegetables for anal play?

Fruits or vegetables are definitely not OK to use as an anal toy. Never insert anything into your bottom that doesn't have a flared base of some type. While some people may have successfully used vegetables for anal, the way the sphincter works means it's possible for items to be drawn up inside your anus – if there's nothing to stop them, they can go all the way in. Ouch. 

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That could result in a very embarrassing trip to ER and no surgeon is going to believe you accidentally fell and sat on that phallic-shaped zucchini! If you're interested in anal play, I urge you to buy a toy that is designed specifically for that. 
 

Food dildos: Will the Cashier Know?

As for the shopping part of this adventure, come on, really? You don't have anything to be concerned about. Most people who work at the check-out are not remotely interested in what you're buying: they're just there to do their job; scan the products, get the money, and move on to the next customer.
 

Someone buying cucumbers or carrots is entirely normal, and no one will assume it's for masturbation. Even if all you bought was a cucumber, they're not going to take a blind bit of notice. There's always the self-service check-out too if you want to avoid staff. 

Final Thoughts: Masturbation With Vegetables

As a one-off thing to try or to fulfil a particular curiosity, I can't see a problem with putting vegetables in your pussy. However, as a regular masturbation technique, I think you'd be better off buying yourself a dildo or other type of sex toy. There are tons on the market and glass is an excellent material to try. It makes beautiful toys, and they are very easy to keep clean. 

Whatever you decide, have fun and look after your body as best you can! 

Molly x 
 

Have you used vegetables to masturbate or to spice things up with a partner? What's your favorite food dildo or vegetable sex toy? Share with the POPCORN community in the comments below...